Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
