the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
