the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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