Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
