No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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