Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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