He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize