Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
