After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize