There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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