Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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