I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
