I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
