in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
