My brain says no but my pants say off.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
