i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
