We're like a lot better than the average bears
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
