best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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