I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
