Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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