That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
