i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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