Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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