Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Is Oprah even human
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize