You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
