when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
