just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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