I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
