His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
