The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
