what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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