the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
