Fine. I'll sleep in my office
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
