This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
