You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
