Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
