my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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