Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
