the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
