im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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