I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
