just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
