Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
