He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I didn't notice because vodka
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
