Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
