This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
