Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i wish my penis had a tongue
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
