She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
