ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
