I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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