Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize