I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
