Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
