"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
