so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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