You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I am naked and annoyed.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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