My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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