Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
