I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
