You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize