apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
