So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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