We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
