I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
