What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
