And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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