I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
did i just pee glitter
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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