Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize