like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
