i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
