i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
