im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
