I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize