i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
