Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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