Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
zippers are such a cool invention
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
