She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's official drugs can't kill me
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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