i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
