Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Are we still banned from the library?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize